Gather round there is a tale you all should know
A tale of one of the greatest of men to row
A man once known as The Canyon Jester
A man we now call One Oared Lester

Into the west with her mighty rivers
Where lesser men shake and quiver
Came a young Lester not to seek his fame
But that is where is got his name

In this West was where he met his pride and glory
Quartzite by name she was a Dory
When Quartzite was running no one could best her
While she was stroked by her man Lester

The call came late one fateful day
It was a TL from down New Mexico way
She had the crew she had the boats
Down the Colorado would he like to float

So it was with thoughts of Heaven
That Lester started off on trip number seven

They set off with great hope
And went on down through Badger and into Soap
It was House Rock that provided the first test
All went easily through and so felt positive about the rest

Then came Indian Dick where a few got wet
Would they survive the rest was now a fool's bet

Not long after mile seventy one
Lester knew it was time for fun

While other captains contemplated death
And told their crews "Take a deep breath"
Lester sat cool and calm
Rubbing his hands with bag balm

You rafters will all wallow through this rapid named Hance
Quartzite and I will do our special dance

Leading the way into the froth and fray
was his good friend Taylor
Pity the man he lacked a self bailer

The rapid was split into white blocks of thunder
As Taylor and Keith went under
Only when they heard Keith shout
Did they know their first boat was out

Next came the Canyon Jester
Quartzite was hoping he wouldn't molest her

As Lester started his run he was heard to roar
I'll do a trick so not to bore
While others gasped from along the shore
Lester threw away one oar

With his remaining oar he was quite deft
The oar He quickly tossed from left to right and back to left

Then Deb's eyes grew wide with fear
And Lester was seen to open a hatch and crack a beer
Where the waves were white and shear
Deb, Lester and Quartzite seemed to disappear

What happened, Where did they go
The seconds seemed to slow
And then came a great shout
Quartzite's bow came popping out

Lester had pulled out his crew
From the hole they were in
Just another delivery for the OB/GYN

There stood Lester with one oar held up
Toasting all with his Sierra Cup
From that point on spread his fame
One Oared Lester was his name